KEMCOLIAN CHRONICLES (PART 1)

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This post was published in KELLOGS, the official blog of King Edward Literary Society on 10/4/2011

By Farkhanda Qaiser

Ever wondered what’s the best thing about studying in KE?

A typical reply would be: “If you’re in KE, what more could you want? After all, you’d be the best of the best, the cream of the nation…!”
Well, you see that’s a reply you’d get from a non-kemcolian who has no idea what life in KE is actually all about…
Life in KE is much beyond the usual sub stages, modules and tests that medical students have to endure…
How? You might ask…
In fact, you might even be bamboozled by the fact that kemcolians can have a life outside of B.D. Churasia, Mushtaq, Guyton and Firdous…!
And that’s considering the fact that almost all the toppers of all the education boards in Pakistan have landed exclusively in KE…and thus contribute to the theta image of our prestigious university…but even these thetas can’t resist the delicious food of Anarkali and food street.
However, I’m not going to talk about food here (as I’ve already written a detailed food analysis in kemunited).
Today, the topic under discussion is (Gosh. The parliamentary debates are getting to me) an exclusive report on the various places of entertainment for us kemcolians. Outside of ke-that is.
For us girls, the first name that’d crop up in your mind is Anarkali. We go there daily. For a wide variety of reasons. To shop for birthday gifts (Yes, it’s the most economical place and also the nearest). To buy cheap jewelry for daily wear. To do window shopping of fancy bridal clothes and fantasize about our own weddings…! (Lol…no I don’t do that) Sometimes even just to get away from the suffocating confines of ke. Or to shop for decoration stuff when some class event or society event comes up and you’re made the head of décor-much to your distress…! And oh yeah how could I forget the notorious book shops which are crowded to the brim at the start of every year and then seldomly visited by us doc saabs…! Union has the most expensive books and they’re bound to give you pirated version of every book unless you mention otherwise…I’ve been a victim. I had to resell my black and white guyton with pink book cover just because I had written my name at the start so it couldn’t be exchanged. (ofcourse I suffered a loss of about a couple of hundreds) Shahid wale uncle is so nice. He really knows a thing or two about PR and positive marketing. He’d make sure he finds you the book you’re looking for even if he has to go a few shops down the block. And yeah the prices are less than those of union. Lastly comes Zubair. It’s the nearest to ke but it does not have most of the books…! Now, a few rules about shopping in Anarkali: (for girls)
1) NEVER and I repeat never agree to the 1st price that a shopkeeper tells you. Keep haggling till you get to half the original price!
2) Keep an umbrella with you for smashing any rude guy who dares to call you names…!
3) Wear your most comfortable and worn out sneakers to ensure that you can still walk on 2 feet after coming out alive from Anarkali.
4) Walk in the middle of road so that you work as partition of the 2 way traffic.
5) Put cotton plugs in your ears to avoid the unnecessary interruption in your daydreams by dopies who invite you in their shops.
6) Always wear overall so that you can give the most plausible excuse of: ‘I have to buy from my pocket money so please reduce the price.’
7) Never show your willingness to buy something because that gives the shopkeeper the incentive to ask for ‘munh boli’ price.
8) Wear goggles to avoid eye contact with ‘cheap frandship guys’ Trust me you will find plenty of those in Anarkali.
9) If you’re wearing those long loose trousers, then make sure to tie them up from the bottom to avoid carrying the various items loosely strewn on the never-cleaned floor of these streets.
10) And lastly, be armed for any eventualities…!
Once you have followed this rule book then you are a master of shopping in any part of Lahore. Anarkali is the best training ground we have. And for that we must thank our gora masters who built our university in such a nice locality.
But wait, I think Anarkali was made after KE so then we should thank the makers of Anarkali for choosing such a nice location. And for thinking about us entertainment-starved doc saabs.
Thank You makers of Anarkali… We really owe you a big one…!
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